wow, i just took a 12 hour nap! i meant to go to the grocery store last night (even got 2 more bags of empty bottles ready to drop off at the recycling place), but felt totally sleepy all of a sudden. so i sort of collapsed on the couch, and closed my eyes. next thing i know, it's 9 a.m. but the night was not completely wasted: i feel less exhausted than i have in months.
the trouble is, i have nothing to eat in the house. i did find some stale whole wheat bread i'd bought 2 weeks ago, so i'm munching on some toast right now. i really need to make it to the store tonight. i'd go now, but i feel safer getting rid of those empty bottles at night. i'm too ashamed of myself to be seen doing this during the day.
yesterday, i started reading burroughs' book about how he came close to drinking himself to death. it's an amazing read. so much humor and sadness. i'm glad he survived. and i hope my story also has a happy ending.
so far, i've been dry for 3 days (soon it will be 4). it's a good start. my crazy life is far from perfect, but i am working hard to make things better. at least i'm still alive. it hasn't been easy.
You can do this - hang in there! Are you a part of any sort of support system for your sobriety - like AA, outpatient treatment, church, counseling, etc.? It was definitely easier for me to stay sober when I was part of a group of like-minded people.
ReplyDeletehey, thanks for the really cool support! i have an appointment next week to see a therapist. i've tried aa many times, but it just didn't work for me. so blogging (and lots of calls to crisis lines) pretty much is what's keeping me sober and sane.
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